Letting Go…

It’s been quite a while since I’ve touched the computer keys dedicated to a blog post. I always have the best of intentions to stay consistent, but life happens and time slips away so darn quickly…and I’m not even a parent yet! No more excuses – I know, I know!!!

Today’s post is a selfish one. There’s no DIY tutorial, or recipe to follow, or latest fashion trend/sale that I scored on. Today’s post comes from a deeper place, a raw place. I also didn’t know where to put it on the blog, so I’ll call it “uncategorized” for now…very atypical for me who likes everything in its place!

Where to begin…

A little over a year ago, I wholeheartedly let a family member into my life. So much so that it was Facebook official (huge deal, right?!?). In the beginning things were going really well until one day they weren’t. I tried so very hard to put my gut feelings aside (you know those instincts you always follow that are 99.9% frustratingly right). I started to rationalize things like the little digs or tit-for-tat comments as just part of the gig, and continued to try and make it work, because that’s what families do, right? At least that’s what I was taught growing up in a large and often times too-close Italian family. Little by little, the once otherwise strong relationships in that same family unit began to suffer and the subject grew awkward and almost untouchable. At first, I didn’t pay much attention. In fact, it didn’t really hit me until we were on our trip in Italy this past Spring. The tides had turned and now the venom was directed at us (my husband and I). It was like a light bulb went flashing on so insanely bright and it was all so clear to me. I finally realized what the catalyst was – the exact person I let in a year prior. Crazy! We got home from our trip and I decided NO MORE. I was choosing my happiness and sanity over any family experience – good or bad. This tidal switch (or what I now refer to as an invaluable life lesson) was the change I needed to stand up for myself and protect what’s most important to me. You see my husband is a pro at boundaries and not giving energy to things that don’t matter. It’s one of the things I admire most about him – his kind heart, but also his ability to take care of himself and now me – our little Roybal family.

change your life

So where’s this all going? I can honestly say I just had to get it out and have made a promise to myself to not spend any time or even this blog post as a bash session about this person. In fact I’m not even going to ask my psyche “why?” or “what did I/we do to deserve this?”. Instead, I’m going to LET GO all of the negative from this experience and send happiness and healing to this person in hopes that they find their own internal peace and content place. I’ve come to realize the hard way that envy and jealously are the true thieves of joy, and I’m not about to let anyone or anything come between my joy or the personal work I’ve put in to create this amazing life I get to share with my husband!

So I’ll leave you with this. A very good friend of mine once said, “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”. Today I thought well shoot, that’s just genius!

Until next time glitter lovers ❤

XO,

Amanda